Julian Clary

I, Julian Clary, have done for mincing what Michael Flatley did for Irish dancing.

In these difficult times I feel I should go and comfort my people in the provinces. My friend Damien tells me the men are very hard up in Hayes. I only hope I’m not too late.

I’m 50. The shame of it. This will be an intimate evening – a celebration, no less, of my twenty-five years in the camp spotlight; how I got there and why I refuse to leave. Come and see me before they put me in a home for tired old knackers.

Adults only.